What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
