East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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