READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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