He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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