I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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