At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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