I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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