Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
