susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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