Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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