forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
