I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
