Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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