And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
