Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
