ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
