I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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