Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
