I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
