I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
