talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
