I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
