carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
