I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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