is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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