At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
