it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
