she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
