Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
