The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize