Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
