i jhust puked up my retainher.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
