Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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