Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
