Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
