I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize