Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
