so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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