can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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