A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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