tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize