I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
