"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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