Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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