good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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