Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
