He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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