; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think weed is turning my hair brown
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
