New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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