Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
