it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
