I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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