I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
