just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Why are your pants in the freezer?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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