my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
