THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize