If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
