omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
