Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize