Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
