maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
