i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize