i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
