Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
