new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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