I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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