Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
