my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
