Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize