This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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