pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize