There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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