he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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