hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
