I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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